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Good morning everyone. Today we are going to continue with the study of forgiveness. Last week we began to define what forgiveness means. I'm not sure that we will ever finish defining it. But I am pretty sure that the word means many things to different people and I think that we need to do our best to have some idea of what we mean when we talk about forgiveness here.
I would say that forgiveness is something that can be done by someone who has been hurt or wronged. Primarily, forgiveness has to do with giving up the anger, resentment and blame that this person feels. This has nothing to do with taking a wrong and making it right. Forgiveness does not change what happened, and it doesn't require that we trust the offender never to offend again. You can forgive your alcoholic partner and still not trust them with alcohol. But your distrust doesn't need to be full of anger and resentment. Anger and resentment only hurt the one who feels them, and that person has already suffered enough.
When someone asks for forgiveness, they admit that they have hurt someone. Is it then necessary to forgive them? And what if they don't ask?
Simon Wiesenthal was a holocaust survivor. While he was an inmate in a concentration camp he was summoned to the death bed of one of the SS camp guards. The guard confessed to Wiesenthal that he had participated in the murder of 300 men, women and children. He expressed his remorse and asked Wiesenthal to forgive him. Wiesenthal stayed and listened to this confession and then left the man in silence, without forgiving him.
This incident still troubled Wiesenthal, and in his book, The Sunflower: On the Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness he asks, "What would you have done?" and prints the responses of many prominent people.
Today I want to ask you what kinds of things you think can be forgiven. Are some things unforgivable?
I'm going to repeat a story about the Buddha that is one of the sutras from the Pali Canon. It's called "About Angulimala."
Angulimala was a bandit and a murderer, and almost everyone was afraid of him. In the Pali language a mala is the name for a beaded necklace: the Buddhist rosary. Anguli is the word for "finger." This bandit was called Angulimala because he wore a mala necklace that had the fingerbones of people he had killed for its beads.
Here is the story:
... there was a bandit in the realm of King Pasenadi of Kosala named Angulimala, who was murderous, bloody-handed, given to blows and violence, merciless to living beings. Villages, towns, and districts were laid waste by him. He was constantly murdering people and he wore their fingers as a garland.
Then, when it was morning, the Blessed One dressed, and taking his bowl and outer robe, went into Savatthi for alms. When he had wandered for alms in Savatthi and had returned from his almsround, after his meal he set his resting place in order, and taking his bowl and outer robe, set out on the road leading towards Angulimala. Cowherds, shepherds, and ploughmen passing by saw the Blessed One walking along the road leading towards Angulimala and told him: "Do not take this road, recluse. On this road is the bandit Angulimala who is murderous, bloody-handed, given to blows and violence, merciless to living beings. Villages, towns, and districts have been laid waste by him. He is constantly murdering people and he wears their fingers as a garland. Men have come along this road in groups of ten, twenty, thirty, and even forty, but still they have fallen into Angulimala's hands." When this was said the Blessed One went on in silence.
For the second time ... For the third time the cowherds, shepherds, and ploughmen told this to the Blessed One, but still the Blessed One went on in silence.
The bandit Angulimala saw the Blessed One coming in the distance. When he saw him, he thought: "it is wonderful, it's marvellous! Men have come along this road in groups of ten, twenty, thirty, and even forty, but still they have fallen into my hands. And now this recluse comes alone, unaccompanied, as if driven by fate. Why shouldn't I take this recluse's life?" Angulimala then took up his sword and shield, buckled on his bow and quiver, and followed close behind the Blessed One.
Then the Blessed One performed such a feat of supernormal power that the bandit Angulimala, though walking as fast as he could, could not catch up with the Blessed One, who was walking at his normal pace. Then the bandit Angulimala thought: "It is wonderful, it is marvellous! Formerly I could catch up even with a swift elephant and seize it; I could catch up even with a swift horse and seize it; I could catch up even with a swift chariot and seize it; I could catch up even with a swift deer and seize it; but now, though I am walking as fast as I can, I cannot catch up with this recluse who is walking at his normal pace!" He stopped and called out to the Blessed One: "Stop, recluse! Stop, recluse!"
"I have stopped, Angulimala, you stop too."
Then the bandit Angulimala thought: "These recluses, sons of the Sakyans, speak truth, assert truth; but though this recluse is still walking, he says: 'I have stopped, Angulimala, you stop too.' Suppose I question this recluse."
Then the bandit Angulimala addressed the Blessed One in stanzas thus:
"While you are walking, recluse, you tell me you have stopped;
But now, when I have stopped, you say I have not stopped.
I ask you now, O recluse, about the meaning:
How is it that you have stopped and I have not?"
"Angulimala, I have stopped forever,
I abstain from violence towards living beings;
But you have no restraint towards things that live:
That is why I have stopped and you have not."
"Oh, at long last this recluse, a venerated sage,
Has come to this great forest for my sake.
Having heard your stanza teaching me the Dhamma,
I will indeed renounce evil forever."
So saying, the bandit took his sword and weapons
And flung them in a gaping chasm's pit;
The bandit worshipped the Sublime One's feet,
And then and there asked for the going forth.
The Enlightened One, the Sage of Great Compassion,
The Teacher of the world with [all] its gods,
Addressed him with these words, "Come, bhikkhu."
And that was how he came to be a bhikkhu.
Later, while King Pasenadi is searching for Angulimala with an army of 500 men, he comes to meet with the Buddha and says,
... there is a bandit in my realm named Angulimala, who is murderous, bloody-handed, given to blows and violence, merciless to living beings. Villages, towns, and districts have been laid waste by him. He is constantly murdering people and he wears their fingers as a garland. I shall never be able to put him down, venerable sir."
"Great king, suppose you were to see that Angulimala had shaved off his hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and gone forth from the home life into homelessness; that he was abstaining from killing living beings, from taking what is not given and from false speech; that he was refraining from eating at night, ate only in one part of the day, and was celibate, virtuous, of good character. If you were to see him thus, how would you treat him?"
"Venerable sir, we would pay homage to him, or rise up for him, or invite him to be seated; or we would invite him to accept robes, almsfood, a resting place, or medicinal requisites; or we would arrange for him lawful guarding, defence, and protection. But, venerable sir, he is an immoral man, one of evil character. How could he ever have such virtue and restraint?"
Now on that occasion the venerable Angulimala was sitting not far from the Blessed One. Then the Blessed One extended his right arm and said to King Pasenadi of Kosala: "Great king, this is Angulimala."
Then King Pasenadi was frightened, alarmed, and terrified. Knowing this, the Blessed One told him: "Do not be afraid, great king, do not be afraid. There is nothing for you to fear from him."
Then the king's fear, alarm, and terror subsided. He went over to the venerable Angulimala and said: "Venerable sir is the noble lord really Angulimala?"
"Yes, great king."
"Venerable sir, of what family is the noble lord's father? Of what family is his mother?"
"My father is a Gagga, great king; my mother is a Mantani."
"Let the noble lord Gagga Mantaniputta rest content. I shall provide robes, almsfood, resting place, and medicinal requisites for the noble lord Gagga Mantaniputta."
Now at that time the venerable Angulimala was a forest dweller, an almsfood eater, a refuse-rag wearer, and restricted himself to three robes. He replied: "Enough, great king, my triple robe is complete." ...
The Sutra continues ...
Then, when it was morning, the venerable Angulimala dressed, and taking his bowl and outer robe, went into Savatthi for alms. As he was wandering for alms from house to house in Savatthi, he saw a certain woman giving birth to a deformed child. When he saw this, he thought: "How beings are afflicted! Indeed, how beings are afflicted!"
When he had wandered for alms in Savatthi and had returned from his almsround, after his meal he went to the Blessed One, and after paying homage to him, he sat down at one side and said: "Venerable sir, in the morning I dressed, and taking my bowl and outer robe, went into Savatthi for alms. As I was wandering for alms from house to house in Savatthi, I saw a certain woman giving birth to a deformed child. When I saw that, I thought: 'How beings are afflicted! Indeed, how beings are afflicted!"'
"In that case, Angulimala, go into Savatthi and say to that woman: 'Sister, since I was born, I do not recall that I have ever intentionally deprived a living being of life. By this truth, may you be well and may your infant be well!"'
"Venerable sir, wouldn't I be telling a deliberate lie, for I have intentionally deprived many living beings of life?"
"Then, Angulimala, go into Savatthi and say to that woman: 'Sister, since I was born with the noble birth, I do not recall that I have ever intentionally deprived a living being of life. By this truth, may you be well and may your infant be well!'"
"Yes, venerable sir," the venerable Angulimala replied, and having gone into Savatthi, he told that woman: "Sister, since I was born with the noble birth, I do not recall that I have ever intentionally deprived a living being of life. By this truth, may you be well and may your infant be well!" Then the woman and the infant became well.
Before long, dwelling alone, withdrawn, diligent, ardent and resolute, the venerable Angulimala, by realising for himself with direct knowledge, here and now entered upon and abided in that supreme goal of the holy life for the sake of which clansmen rightly go forth from the home life into homelessness. He directly knew: "Birth is destroyed, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more coming to any state of being." And the venerable Angulimala became one of the arahants.
Then, when it was morning, the venerable Angulimala dressed, and taking his bowl and outer robe, went into Savatthi for alms. Now on that occasion someone threw a clod and hit the venerable Angulimala's body, someone else threw a stick and hit his body, and someone else threw a potsherd and hit his body. Then, with blood running from his cut head, with his bowl broken, and with his outer robe torn, the venerable Angulimala went to the Blessed One. The Blessed One saw him coming in the distance and told him: "Bear it, brahmin! Bear it, brahmin! You are experiencing here and now the result of deeds because of which you might have been tortured in hell for many years, for many hundreds of years, for many thousands of years."
I'd like to highlight a few things from this:
I have left out parts of this sutra, but if you're interested, you can click here to read an on-line copy. I think it's well worth reading.
Thank you for your practise.
© 2007, Burai Rick Spencer